I have been on a Self Care journey for the last several years. There came a time where I hit a place in my life when I knew I needed change. I didn’t want change for I had become comfortable with my life, in all its chaos. Yet I knew my soul would die if I stayed in that place. The need for change overtook the want for the familiar.
I began to work with a therapist, discovered self-help books; I went to conferences and lectures about growth and Self Care. It was a wonderful time of self-discovery and exponential growth. I began to experience true peace in my soul for the first time in my life.
And then the unexpected happened. Some of the people in my life were not as excited about this growth as I was. I began to watch some of the people closest to me get angry and walk away from our relationships. Some of these were lifetime relationships.
Life Coach Martha Beck calls these “Change Back Attacks”. The people who love us and know us one way want us to “change back” to whom they knew and understood. The danger is now in front of us.
Will we allow the change back attacks to take bring us back to the place we need to grow from? Will we allow them to bring us back into the comfortable discomfort we know? Or will we continue to grow and let go of those who want to keep us stagnate?
That was a choice I had to make. I chose to let go of those people and move on with my Self Care and development. I believe I have something to learn from every relationship that comes into my life. I choose to be grateful for each relationship, for what I have learned from them and what they brought to my life.
I have chosen to offer my change back attackers the same Buddhist blessing that I have given the parts of myself that no longer serve me.
May you be well
May you be happy
May you be free from suffering.
I offer YOU this blessing as you encounter change back attacks on your journey back to your authentic self.
Really well said, Jill. Thanks for sharing!
Excellent wisdom. You are spot on…
Great blog…I remember reading Martha Beck talking about this with the visual of an elevator…as the elevator stops at different floors “our people” get off the elevator until it’s empty, but has it goes up again and stops at different floors, new people enter the elevator…thanks for reminding of this…it’s a great visual.