I recently had a coffee with a used to be friend from High School. We were that kind of friend that connected deeply for a short time and then lost track, so it’s been almost 30 years since we’ve spoken. The same thing happened again, when we met for coffee, it was a deep connection that happened quickly. Interesting isn’t it that our authentic self, knows from an early place what type of friends to make.
Through years of “social self” pressure we learn to make friends based on our situation in life, who we are married to, parents of our kids friends, neighbors that we have nothing in common with but need to be friendly. I found through my adult life those are the types of friends I mostly had. There were the other military spouses, the homeschool moms, the women’s group at church, all people I met through my social surroundings. However when my long term marriage ended most of these were not the friends who took me through the ring of fire to the other side.
Tonight I will be celebrating my birthdaywith my friends of the heart. I call them my sisters by choice. They are the ones that have held my hand through it all, some I have know since I was in elementary school and some I have just known a few months. But all of them connect to me, to the real, authentic me in a way that helps me stay centered. I hope I do the same for them.
Take a look around you and see who are your friends that connect to your authentic self, nourish and grow those friendships as they are the ones that will take you any where you want to go.