Q: I have been a stay at home mom for over 25 years, and have always had a great relationship with my children. As they move into adulthood, what is my role as their parent? I’m not sure when, or even if I should make suggestions or give them advice. I am specifically concerned about our oldest child who is graduating from college, planning to get married, and looking for a job. How do I help and guide him?
A: The hardest part of being a parent is the letting go. Whether it is letting our child cross the street for the first time, packing them off to college, or seeing them head off on a truly adult adventure like marriage. The best way to guide an adult child is to give advice only when asked, encourage independence by not doing for him anything he can do for himself, and being there to listen to him and support him when he falls. A great phrase to learn as a parent of an adult child is “do you want me to just listen or do you want advice.” Most of all remind him that you will always love him, no matter what choices he makes.
