Q: I have been married over a year now. I love my husband and most of the time we get along really well. We enjoy doing things together, like the same kind of people and agree on most things. There’s only one problem. Several times in the last couple of months we invited a friend of mine from work and her husband over for dinner and cards. Each time my husband dominates the evening, talking non-stop the whole time they’re here. He likes to tell jokes and is the kind of person you want to have at a party, but in this situation he was just tedious. I’m afraid my friends were bored to tears. What can I do? I don’t want to hurt his feelings but I don’t want to lose my friends either.
A: My mother always told me that the characteristic I loved most about a man would be the very trait that would drive me crazy after I married him. This was just one of the many pearls of wisdom my mother imparted to me. It sounds like you have discovered this as well. Fun and games are great but they don’t work in all situations. It sounds like your husband is the kind of person that loves to have a good time and to be around people. No matter what personality type we are, it’s important to remember that our greatest strengths can become our greatest weakness. The fun loving, story-telling type, like your husband, can forget that not everyone wants to hear all the details of what happened when he drove to the grocery store tonight or hear the minutiae of her dental appointment. A good way to help a person like your husband see this is to remind him that if he is interrupted while telling a story, and no one reminds him to continue, it’s best not to keep talking and to take a break and just listen. It will take a bit of time and lots of patience but the next time your buddies come over for cards, it will be much more enjoyable. Understanding Personality Styles can make such a difference in communication and relationships.
