How did this happen? My baby is not only 23 but is about ready to graduate from college. A feat I never managed to accomplish. I know, this is very cliche but cliches all have a grain of truth. When we first brought him home from the hospital and laid him in his crib in the room I had spent so much time putting together, his father and I looked at each other and said “Now what do we do with him.” He made it very clear what to do, feeding diapering, praying, not sleeping.
As each subsequent child arrived I felt much better equipped to deal with the daily lives of children. Mark did not taste processed sugar till he was almost four. Gracie, the youngest of the four kids, learned to drink through a straw at seven months as the older boys gave her sips of their ICEE’s. I felt that I had learned to let go and let them grow up the way they were meant to grow. I always believed my job was to prepare them for adulthood.
Now with Mark truly entering adulthood, David long past my influence, Jacob and Gracie heading into adolescence maybe letting go is harder than I thought it would be. They do not realize as they move on past me that they are my heart, for over 24 years they have been a part of me. Maybe letting go is not what I need to to do, maybe I just need to move on. Cherish who they are and the piece of my heart they are taking with them.
Kahil Gibran wrote in The Prophet that “your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.” So I will move on as they move on and know that I am giving back to Life itself.